Thomas Magnum was once stalked by a shark in a kayak.
Magnum was in the kayak, not the shark.
I don't remember all the details of the episode, but I would recommend a hearty mustache during any and all kayak outings.
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This was no time for half measures. He was a captain, godsdammit. An officer.
Things like this didn't present a problem for an officer. Officers had a tried and
tested way of solving problems like this. It was called a sergeant.
-Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
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